bobby bored

On the metro train going home from work or night school, you see and feel the strain.  And, try as you might, you inexorably plunge yourself immediately into it and have no choice but to be temporarily altered; as you immerse yourself in a sea of faces all trying to adopt some type of image or persona in which to protect themselves from the weight of so much scrutiny from so many other exteriors of human diversity.

We all know this feeling all too well.  The alienation of turning ourselves inside out on those late-night shifts and rotational schedules that devastate our internal clock—riding on that last train commuter home to the suburbs from the big city, feeling fried out from combining full time work with the occasional night class or two in which to better ourselves.

I know I will never forget the completely drained feeling I had after battling thru the drudgery of so many 3-hour night classes concluded.  My brain would be submerged in a ZONE of concentration centering on my some vaguely dissatisfied feeling inside me that kept plotting how to do better in each successive class session.  “How behind am I on my report?”  “Will I pass the teachers final exam?”  “When will I start speaking up more in class to get more participation credit?”

And with every question darting through my brain was an underlying assumption: that I was a fraud just going through the motions in the classroom—someone who so far hadn’t deserved a good grade yet and needed to do much more in order to feel legitimate.

This is why traveling alone takes such courage and expands so much energy compared to travel with a friend or family member.  The sheer weight of absorbing all those wayward glances from strangers can be just too intrusive over time.

The guilt of being caught looking too closely at an attractive woman as they look up from their hand-held device.  The practiced effort of appearing to not look too judgmental or prone to profile young kids or various ethnic groups that one is trained to be accepting of and feel guilty about.

Or, on the flip side, the internal insecurity about wondering how successful or attractive we look to strangers facing the opposite direction on their metro train seat who glance at us furtively more than a few times.

Thankfully all of this has changed after I came up with the NEUTRAL MASK and am now introducing it out on the market.

Now, if I’m going to agonize over some hang-up or insecurity, it will be cloaked in a mask of neutrality.

“How is this possible?” you might quite plausibly ask.  Easy.

Because the NEUTRAL MASK is uniquely designed and patterned after the same shell case that went in to making SECURITY guaranteed wallets so as to protect oneself from outside IDENTITY THEFT predators.

Just like those smart and sensible, battle ship gray wallet covers provide a shield from gazers wanting to track your debit card or spy your social security number, the NEUTRAL MASK fits under one’s ball cap or visor (or even one’s own human hair!) to provide instant relief from the weight of eye contact from the masses.

So now we can don the NEUTRAL MASK and join in on any mass crowd scene without a hint of exhaustion or stress.

Simply activate the button and relax with your own personal cloaking device away from the YUCKY mess of unwarranted eye contact.

Immediately we are granted pain free access to the herd of humanity around us.

And with the NEUTRAL MASK we no longer have to work at looking confident or NON-vulnerable to tough guys.

Finally, we will be free to be AMONG other people but not really connected to them.  In fact, it will feel almost as freeing as VIRTUAL reality on-me does!

So, go ahead and day dream, get lost in your mental preparation for work or night school.

You are completely shielded and protected—like a wallet with sensitive credit cards that can’t be deciphered.

For only 5 easy payments of 99,999 a month, you can enjoy what I enjoy.

P.S.  You really didn’t expect me to lower the price too much in my first year of having my product on the market, did you?  What is free for me is NOT too affordable for others.

After all–I don’t really relish having a level playing field on my metro train rides for a long time to come yet.


About John Watts

I like to write transcendental community based essays and stories along with photo journalism pieces.
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